Tears of Heaven
by Slayer Z
Summary: Vincent reflects on his sins. But when he begins to realize that perhaps something Hojo said was right, what will that cause him to do?
1. Unforgotten Regrets

Disclaimer: I down not own Final Fantasy VII, nor anything else made by Square.

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_Final Fantasy VII:_

**Tears of Heaven**

The darkness was all too kind and yet, all too cruel. It held itself higher than anything and only backed down when the light approached. But as soon as the brief dispel of darkness ended, it came back full force. Every time. There was nothing that could stop that cycle of life. But, an exception to that was one man. A man shrouded in the blackest, deepest depths of darkness and hell, a man who gave the world the kindest gift he could give them: their lives. He didn't do it alone, however. He had allies, comrades in battle, at his side almost all of time.

…Almost.

Vincent Valentine was not exactly proud of his efforts. Of course, he didn't seem unpleased with them either. He just did what he was told, and what he felt he had to. That was it. That's how it always was; get your objectives, complete the mission, and shut up. There were times he did something because he knew it had to be done, whether he was issued orders or not.

"I can't let you do it! This isn't right!"

"This is science, of course it's right!"

"Vincent, this isn't your decision! It's my choice!"

This…this was one of those times.

"Lucrecia, how can you let Hojo trick you into doing this! This is _your_ child, not his! It doesn't belong to science," Vincent tried to explain to his love - The love that didn't love him back.

"I know this is my child Vincent! And I'm doing what I want to do to my child!" Lucrecia countered, her eyes filling with hot tears.

Hojo nodded. "See, Vincent? Nothing to fret about—now, get back to your post or I'll have to call security on you." The professor chuckled.

"I am the damn security, fool," Vincent murmured, more to himself rather than the scientist. The Turk sighed and stormed out of the laboratory, slamming the door behind him. Cackling was the only thing that reached his ears after the echo of the door slamming had vanished…and to this day, it still haunted him.

_As long as she was happy, then I didn't mind. _

_Or…maybe I did. Maybe I was just a little jealous of Hojo and Lucrecia being together. Just a little curious as to why Lucrecia was allowing experimentation on her unborn son. Just a little weak when it came to stopping it. If I had done something back then…all of this could have been avoided. This…was only one of my sins._

And then there was that other time…

"Vincent! Why the hell are you in my lab!" Hojo yelled, pulling out a revolver. Vincent was sweating. He had run down the steps and carelessly missed a step, causing him to fall downwards and plow into the ground. Luckily, he hadn't been very high, and only his arm had broken.

"I won't allow you to do this, Hojo!"

The doctor frowned, clearly agitated with this statement. Hojo waited a moment before beginning to smile. "Vincent…you, who can replaced so easily, have come here to bring up a matter that I, Professor Hojo, had made so painstakingly clear to you, and just about everyone else. Why would you bring up this matter, yet again, when it was clearly stated that Lucrecia has given me, the father, permission to inject Jenova cells inside of our unborn child?"

"Because I know this isn't right! This isn't science Hojo, this is madness!" Vincent breathed, wincing from the pain that was going throughout his whole left arm.

Hojo chuckled. "It is only madness until science has proven it to be otherwise. Now, be gone you scum." A gunshot rang throughout the entire mansion, but no one was around to hear it.

"You…you're truly a monster…Hojo…" Vincent crumpled to the floor, his hand at his wound where the bullet had dug in. Hojo could only laugh in response.

"Monster, am I? I'll show you a monster Vincent…no. I'll MAKE you a monster, Vincent!"

_I think, back then…I was already a monster. A Turk…I ruthlessly murdered people, without so much as thinking twice about their fates or their loved ones. It was my job and I only sought to do it. But I was so talented, so gifted in my area…no one should have had that sort of power. The power to kill a man without hesitation; the power to take a life away without considering what the man or woman had done for or against society. All you ever felt was the need to pull the trigger and the want to end this mission quicker than the last. Sometimes the job got to people's minds and they left, wallowing in their own guilt. I didn't leave…but I wasn't off any better than they. In some cases, I was far worse than them actually. This, of course, is another of my sins._

_But, I think my greatest sin was one that was still to come. One that would leave me feeling guilty for years. Not only because I knew it was extremely bad, but because one of his friends was a slight…fascination of mine. Even Yuffie seemed upset about Cloud's death. Yes, that's right._

_I killed Cloud Strife._

_It had been one of those times where I had to do it, simply because I felt I had to. There was no explanation, no warning, no command. I simply looked over at the spiky-headed blond and knew it. It was like a sudden urge within me, an urge to point the barrel at him, pull the hammer back, and let the bullet fly. All within half-a-second, I might add. Of course, the consequence was high and the expense even higher, but when they threw me into that locked room, into that padded area and shut off all the lights, that is when I truly realized it._

_The darkness was cruel, but in times like these, when my face retained the look of a maniac, the darkness was kind. It kept her from seeing my crazed look, it blinded her to the fact that I had simply snapped. But, ironically, it veiled my face when I tried to mouth to her that I was sorry, and that I loved her. She didn't see my eyes, with the tears streaming from them. My only emotions that had been shown in so many years…and they were lost. Lost to the darkness._

_What a bitch._

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What'd you think? Please read and review. Flames accepted as well as compliments. Enjoy! 


	2. Realizing

Woot, thanks for the review...yes, only one so far. But, really, thank you! Onto the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor anything related to Square.

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She cried on his arm, something she hadn't done since as far back as she could remember. The big man did his best to comfort the brunette, but all seemed to be hopeless. When the person who had tried to put a smile on everyone's face in the grimmest of moments fell apart, it was like a part of everyone died that day. Their attempts to assure Tifa were to no avail and their soothing words fell on deaf ears. And it was _his_ fault. Damn that ex-Turk vampire, Vincent Valentine. He was going to hell, and everyone knew it.

…Almost everyone.

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Vincent sat quietly on his padded floor, bored of admiring the pillow walls. He tried his best recall the moments that had passed before Cloud's death, before Vincent had pulled the trigger. By God, the rush of energy that had surged through him was so invigorating, and yet so intoxicating that it must have been a sin just to hold the gun up!

_How many sins is that now?_ Vincent counted, sighed, and gave up. _Ah, to hell with it. Who cares anyway, I'm already here._

"You should care, Vincent. Your sins will be used against you at the time of judgment, but I don't think I should have to remind you of that."

Vincent whirled around, or at least tried to. His straight-jacket made him do more of a sort of half-turn before stopping and falling onto his stomach. "Ugh. Who's there?" Vincent asked, struggling to get into a standing position.

"Forgotten my voice already? Well, I guess I can't blame you…it has been some time," the voice giggled. "You look like a turtle on its back!" The voice giggled some more. Vincent rolled his eyes.

"More like a worm," he whispered, noting that he had to squirm a lot to get back into a sitting position. "Now, answer my question or I'll have to harm you!"

"Harm me, Vincent Valentine? How can you harm something you can't see or even remember, for that matter?" The voice said in its soft, soothing breath. It nearly relaxed Vincent…nearly.

"That's a question asked for so long, and I'll be glad to answer it!" The voice only giggled in return. "Cloud was harmed by something he could only hear, but could not see nor remember. Not clearly remember, anyway. I think that is a good example."

There was silence for a moment, before the voice spoke again. "Cloud was healed, was he not?" Vincent shook his head.

"For a time, I believe he was. But…his memories came back to haunt him. His love for someone is what made him fall into darkness, much like myself. He wanted to be forgiven…he wanted to lift the weight from his shoulders."

The voice giggled again. "You sure know a lot about Cloud, don't you Vincent?" Vincent nodded. "And were you a close friend of Cloud's?" Vincent hesitated, before shaking his head.

"I was a comrade of his, nothing more. It was just business, just work…like always." Vincent sighed, his shoulders slumping. There was a cold sensation he felt, like a hand pressing down to comfort him.

"Do you think, perhaps, that's what it was for her as well: just work and nothing more?" The voice inquired in a whisper. Vincent twitched a little.

"…I guess, maybe. Maybe I was wrong about her and Hojo." He sighed, "But I still didn't stop it…" The hand on Vincent's shoulder tightened its grip.

"You were the exact same way though, weren't you? You went in and did your job, and no one could stop you. You slaughtered innocent people and villages! And yet, no one stopped you." The voice drew a breath, waiting for Vincent's reply.

"…I guess that I…didn't realize how common everything was. How everyone might actually feel the same pain I do." The hand lifted itself from Vincent, and the voice spoke up once more.

"I think you did know, but you didn't realize it until now." Vincent shrugged, not knowing exactly what the voice meant. "Vincent, why did you kill Cloud?"

Vincent said nothing, the memories running through his head. _I saw him sitting on the couch, face in his hands. He was muttering the name Aeris, and weeping softly. He said something about wanting to be forgiven and how he wanted to lift the weight off his shoulders. He asked me if sins could be forgiven…and I said I had never cared to try. "…call you with the results," he said, flicking his hair he always did in his cool way. He stood up from the couch and walked right out the door. He was trying to repent his sins and look for forgiveness. He was doing something that…I had never tried. I simply let it all pass by me…and I hated him for that. I hated him for the fact that when I stared at him, I could see myself staring back. I hated the fact that he could always perform things so much better than me…people, speaking, and even forgiveness of sins. I was stuck with my sins and my demons…what about him? How come he wasn't…I hated him. I killed him because…_

"…I was jealous."

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Tifa passed through the hall with a determined look upon her face. Her eyes were set straight and her jaw was firm. She was here to ask Valentine a few questions...and maybe kick him. Or kill him. Whichever worked best at the moment.

"Vincent!" the enraged brunette yelled into the padded room. She couldn't see inside - it was far too dark. But the small, sharp noise of breathing alerted Tifa that Vincent was indeed in the room.

"Vincent Valentine, we need to talk!" she shouted again, not caring that some employees were staring at her strangely. A pair of red eyes at the door's window was her greeting. "Vincent, why? Why did you kill Cloud! I have to know before I kill you myself!"

The crimson eyes closed for a moment, and there was silence. Then, Vincent answered in a low voice, "I killed Cloud because I wanted to kill the thing I wanted to be, the constant reminder of what I had failed to become. That is why I killed Strife, Tifa."

Tifa blinked in surprise, before tears began welling up. "Why Vincent! You could've just asked for help! We would've helped you as much as humanly possible! We all knew about your problems, but you wouldn't let us help! And this is what it drove you to do!"

"No need to remind me of my failing, Tifa. I think I'll remember it for everyday of my life." The red eyes floated to the back of the room. "Any further questions, or may I return to my insanity?"

Tifa yelled, tears now flooding down her face. Employees came and tried to pull her away, but she knocked them off. "I'm going to kill you Vincent! I'm going to kill you, and enjoy watching the blood trickle down your spine and onto the floor, where I'll begin mopping it up with your hair! You devil bastard, I'll kill you with my bare hands!"

More silence, before the ex-Turk answered. "Kill me, Tifa, and you'll become no better than me. And then, my dear, we both willhave failed. Spare me the pain of watching you descend into darkness. Please." And with one final sigh, the red eyes closed and did not reappear. Tifa began weeping loudly, finally allowing the employees to take her away.

Vincent sat against the wall of pads, thinking. "Thank you, Aeris, for letting me realize my sins. I think someone else needs your help now, though." No one answered. "Already gone," Vincent chuckled. "She's quick as a wit, that one." Vincent then stood, letting the straight-jacket fall to the floor.

And when he escaped his padded room, when he escaped the Mental Hospital, when he fled Kalm, he was grateful for the darkness that allowed him to leave.

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Yay! Done! Short story, I know! Read, enjoy, and review!


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